Past Reflections

                                                                  Looking back

I might have been rich if I'd wanted the gold
instead of the friendships I've made.
I might have had fame if I'd sought for renown
in the hours when I purposely played.
Now I'm standing to-day on the far edge of life,
and I'm just looking backward to see
What I've done with the years and the days that were mine,
and all that has happened to me.

I haven't built much of a fortune to leave
to those who shall carry my name,
And nothing I've done shall entitle me now
to a place on the tablets of fame.
But I've loved the great sky and its spaces of blue;
I've lived with the birds and the trees;
I've turned from the splendor of silver and gold
to share in such pleasures as these.

I've given my time to the children who came;
together we've romped and we've played,
And I wouldn't exchange the glad hours spent
with them for the money that I might have made.
I chose to be known and be loved by the few,
and was deaf to the plaudits of men;
And I'd make the same choice should the chance
come to me to live my life over again.

I've lived with my friends and I've shared in their joys,
known sorrow with all of its tears;
I have harvested much from my acres of life,
though some say I've squandered my years.
For much that is fine has been mine to enjoy,
and I think I have lived to my best,
And I have no regret, as I'm nearing the end,
for the gold that I might have possessed.

                                              by Edgar A. Guest

I really found this poem to be quite beautiful. I hope that when I am old that I am content and at peace with all the decisions that I have made, just like the man in the poem. I find myself continually dwelling on the past and sometimes I seem to get stuck in it. It is so comfortable and secure and the future is so scary and vast and unknown. It is so very easy to get lost in one’s memories; seeing those we love and times that were better sometimes it is a struggle to come back to the future when my heart wants to stay in the past. I don’t think that this is a healthy way to live and not very happy. I am tired of being afraid of everything all the time, afraid to live and afraid to dream and afraid to fail. But maybe the biggest failure is not even trying to begin with.